Haroon Bijli

Once upon a time, in a kingdom that once stood near where you are right now, there lived a king and a queen. The kingdom was small enough for a man on a horse to cross in a week, but large enough to have everything its people needed. To the north and east were mountains and forests, to the south was a river, and to the west, a beautiful coastline.

The kingdom was at peace and the people were happy. The king was kind and just, and the queen generous with her time and wealth. Peace also came because of the two neighboring kingdoms. The one to the north and east was ruled by the king’s brother, and the queen’s brother ruled the kingdom across the river to the south. It rained well and regularly, the rivers and lakes teemed with fish, the forests had wildlife, and the farms gave good produce all year round. For recreation, they went to the beaches or the mountains. There was nothing more that the people wanted, and nothing that the king and queen desired.

Except that they had no children.

For a long time, the king and the queen treated all the children of the kingdom as their own, spending generously on their education and lavishing them with fun and treats. But as they grew older, they worried that not having an heir would be terrible for their kingdom. The neighboring kingdoms were much bigger and more powerful. It was true that the three of them had inherited all their kingdoms from their common forefathers, but the king did not want his little kingdom to lose its independence. His neighbors, though, had other plans. The king’s brother sent his son to live with the old couple, saying that the king needed help to manage the affairs of the state. Not to be left behind, the queen’s brother across the river sent his daughter to make her presence felt.

The king’s nephew and the queen’s niece were well-brought up, sweet to the royal couple, respectful of the officials of the palace and the household, and mindful of the needs of the people. But then, they saw each other as rivals and sought to win over the royal couple. In time, the queen grew fond of her niece. The king, though, was a little cold to his nephew, given that he did not very much approve of how his brother ran things in his own kingdom. He was a tad overbearing, a chip off the old block. Maybe he is efficient and scholarly, the king thought, but could he trust him to be kind to the people and always look after their welfare? And how will he treat the other neighbor, his wife’s kin when he takes over? He liked the queen’s niece better, only that she constantly put down his nephew whenever she saw him, something that he saw the queen also carrying on.

The king was aware of what would happen if he didn’t take a clear decision. His brother would try to take over, and his brother-in-law would resist. There would be violence, and God forbid, a war that would destroy the peace and tranquility of the little kingdom. These things occupied his mind whenever he went on long walks in the town and the countryside, a habit for many years.

On one of these walks, he saw a commotion in the bazaar. There were a few men arguing, and a crowd had gathered around them. It was in front of the town’s only barber shop, and he recognized one of the arguing men as the barber’s assistant, a quiet young man he had always seen with the barber. The men stopped their fight when they saw the king approach the crowd. Though he had half a mind to ask them to get the royal police, he sensed that the crowd wanted him to settle the issue and dispense justice. He asked the men what they were fighting over.

One of the men said that the barber’s assistant insulted the king by saying that he was like a bald man with a library of combs, and they couldn’t take it lying down. The barber’s assistant defended himself saying that it was an allegory which meant that the king had everything he didn’t need but didn’t have what he really needed, and he did not mean it personally since the king had plenty of hair which his uncle, the barber, personally styled. The king asked him why he made up that allegory, to which the barber’s assistant said he needed an heir but there was no chance he was getting one, despite having everything else that a king could desire. The king nodded and said that he had a point and asked the barber’s assistant if he was so smart, what suggestion might he have to help the king overcome this tiny problem.

The barber’s assistant hesitated. He did not want to sound disrespectful, but he had to say something: the lord knew what kings do to barber’s assistants who did not respect their rulers enough. The crowd was listening intently. The men with whom he had the argument were sniggering, seeing him hesitate and stutter. The barber’s assistant finally blurted out that the king ought to hold a contest among the main contenders. The king said that was a tame suggestion and he had already thought of it, but there were only two contenders, and he knew who would easily win. Tell me something new. The barber’s assistant said there could be more contenders. The king laughed and said that the only new contender would be someone who wasn’t afraid of being slaughtered once he or she had lost the contest. The king then asked if anyone in the crowd would step up. After a long silence, someone in the crowd shouted that the barber’s assistant should himself volunteer, followed by laughter. The men who were arguing earlier also said that it was a good idea. The king agreed.

The barber’s assistant was regretting everything that had happened, but it looked as if he had no option. The king asked him to appear at the palace the next day.

The king’s nephew and the queen’s niece were surprised. Not only had the king invited them to take part in a contest for the kingdom, but there was also a third contender, and that too a barber’s assistant. But they had little choice and they found themselves in front of the king and his court.

The king announced that he would like the succession to be bloodless and the winner would need to deal with the losers with compassion. This helped calm the nerves of the barber’s assistant whose fidgeting was visible to everyone in the court, except the king’s nephew and the queen’s niece for whom he appeared quite nonchalant.

The king then said that the contestants would have to complete three tasks that he thought would evaluate the most critical capabilities and attributes that the kingdom deserved from its ruler and that the first task was already complete which the barber’s assistant had won. When asked how the next ruler should be chosen, he had suggested a competition, while my nephew and her highness’ niece were only nominating themselves. This showed his sense of fairness, said the king, an attribute that will hold him in good stead. The barber’s assistant intensely examined the floor beneath his feet, feeling the stare of a hundred pairs of eyes on him. The king’s nephew and queen’s niece exchanged glances, nervous at first, but immediately hostile once their eyes met.

The king then dismissed the audience and announced that the next task would take place the next day.

The next day, the king’s nephew, the queen’s niece and the barber’s assistant were summoned to the underground vault of the palace, where only select guardsmen and officials were previously allowed to go. On an ornate table stood a finely crafted metal box, not as big as a chest, but big enough, the king said, to hold all the queen’s ornaments which had been passed to her for many generations, the value of which would easily buy his whole kingdom at least twice over. The box had a special lock and a heavy golden key, the only one of its kind in the kingdom. No other such locking system existed, and he knew of no other key, said the king.

The king opened the box for them to look inside. Their eyes, now wide open, shone in the reflection of the gold, the silver, the diamonds and emeralds and other precious stones. Take a good look, he said, maybe you will never see them again. They did. The king then shut the box, locked it, and kept the key in a purse of cloth. He asked the three of them to follow him as he made his way out to the palace garden by a lake, where he got into the royal boat. They saw him from ashore as he rowed to the middle of the biggest lake in the kingdom, twirled the bag a few times and threw it into the lake. Everyone on the shore gasped as they saw the heavy key sink into the waters.

The king then gave them the task: restore the ornaments to the kingdom. The staff and the officials will provide you with whatever you need to accomplish this task. The king’s nephew and the queen’s niece set off right away. Over the past few months, they knew who did what. The king’s nephew got hold of the palace engineers and set up a boat and a dredging operation. The queen’s niece rushed to the fishing harbor and promised to reward the fishermen who could help her find the bag. The lake was soon a flurry of activity, dredging from one side, and fishermen with hooks and nets, and a couple of divers on the other. The barber’s assistant, though, was not seen near the lake.

He wandered off, trying to recall everything he had seen at the vault and heard the king say. There must be some detail I am missing, he told himself. After all, he was the only assistant to the only barber in town, and there was no chance he could conjure up the resources the other two had, so he had to think of some other way. Maybe he could think better while he snipped hair, so he sought out the key to the barber shop which had closed by that time. Wait, wasn’t his last customer the town’s locksmith? The town’s only locksmith? What if he knew something about the locking system?

He ran to the locksmith’s shop as fast as he could. He asked if he did any work with the king. Of course, what are you even talking about, said the locksmith. I am the only one in town, I do all the palace’s work. All. Then you must have worked on the finest box which has the finest locking system ever, asked the barber’s assistant. Of course. I am proud of that job, my best work which no one can ever copy. I even made a working replica of the system, I have it right here, let me show you….

A few hours later, the king appeared at the lakeshore and announced the completion of the task. The ornaments had been successfully restored to the kingdom and all of you can now please come out of the lake. Everyone looked up to see the king and the barber’s assistant next to him. Most felt that the barber’s assistant had an innocent smile, but the king’s nephew and the queen’s niece could see only a smirk.

The king’s nephew contracted fever that night because he’d jumped into the water to help with the dredging. The queen’s niece lost her voice thanks to her enthusiastic supervision of the fishermen and the divers. This made the king give a couple of days hiatus before the next task. The barber’s assistant spent the two days snipping away; his recent popularity attracting even those whose hair hadn’t grown much.

On the third day after the task at the lake, the three aspirants found themselves in the kingdom’s rarely used ancient prison, built a few generations ago. The king addressed his nephew, the queen’s niece, and the barber’s assistant for the third and final task. This task would call upon your ability to listen, to communicate and your empathy for others, he said. There are three rooms behind me, which were used at one time for solitary confinement. My guards will take you to the room and lock you in chains to a chair. Your job is to escape. I look forward to seeing you soon.

With that, he left.

The guards took each of them inside their rooms, chained them to the chairs, leaving just enough space for movement. Only one of us would stay behind, the guards said.

It wasn’t yet night, but it was already very quiet, except for the sounds of three people struggling against their chains. When they were tired, they paused the struggle, to start again as they regained their strength. They did not talk amongst themselves until the queen’s niece yelled out asking if anyone else was there. Have you all left me, she asked aloud. The king’s nephew assured her that he was very much there and thanked her for the pleasure of her company. The queen’s niece said it was not her fault that the young crown prince couldn’t outthink a mere barber and instead jumped into the lake. The king’s nephew had a few more befitting retorts which made the queen’s niece insult him even more. Meanwhile, the barber’s assistant was puzzled as to what the king meant when he said this task would be about listening, communication and empathy. Certainly not the bickering. It was something else and he tried to recall every little sound that was made ever since they arrived.

As the night wore on, the king’s nephew and the queen’s niece fell asleep. The only thing that kept the barber’s assistant awake was the intense urge to relieve himself. The eerie silence was making it even more unbearable. If only he could reach the toilet pot in the corner. Maybe if he could drag himself by pushing against the floor, he could move? The technique worked! Fighting his urge, he moved to the door instead of the toilet. He swiveled against it and tried the latch from behind. To his surprise, the door was not locked. It struck him then that he had never heard the palace guards lock the door. When outside, he could see three keys laid on the table next to where the king addressed them. By raising his chained hands behind himself, he retrieved the first one. He used the dexterity that years of trade had given him and tried to open the padlock. The second key worked. He was free.

The barber’s assistant freed the king’s nephew and the queen’s niece, waking them up from their slumber. The three made their way up to the prison gate where a lone guard was waiting. A cart took them to the palace. The third task was complete.

The king sent word to the neighboring kingdoms inviting them to a formal investiture ceremony where the heir would be named. It took fourteen days for all the arrangements to be made. During this time, the king’s nephew occupied himself reading books from the king’s vast library, especially intrigued by the ones on how empires rose and fell. The queen’s niece worked on getting her voice back and spent time with the queen in the palace garden. The barber’s assistant went back to his trade, charging more money and tried styling, since every boy and man in the town already had very short hair. In between, the royal tailors worked on his wardrobe, taking measurements, and ensuring that his new clothes fit perfectly.

The big day arrived. The town square was decked up, with a stage, a seating area for the royal families and dining arrangements for everyone who could come. The ceremony itself was simple and dignified. The king made a speech, and in the end announced the barber’s assistant as his heir. The barber’s assistant bowed, thanked the king, thanked the queen and the royalty present, and the people of the town who he said had given him more affection than he deserved.

In the audience, the king’s nephew found himself next to the queen’s niece. This was the first time that they were close to each other without anyone else paying attention. We should team up, he said, in a low voice that only she could hear. There is only one way to do that and if you are asking the question, the answer is yes, the queen’s niece replied. Their hands found each other. Only the queen witnessed the slight movement between the two.

This is a bed-time story I made up for the kids when they were smaller. Only the images are AI-generated (Adobe Firefly). I’ve tried to ape the style of the writer Jose Saramago, with minimal punctuation and no character names.